Deteriorata

Today’s post is an old piece that continues to be passed around and around among college and literary folks. It was very popular during the rebellious years of the 60s, and I found an old copy among my papers of that time period. It was often attributed as "Found in Old Saint Paul's Church, Baltimore: Dated 1692.” Actually, it has evolved from Desiderata, which was written in 1927 by an obscure Indiana lawyer and poet named Max Ehrmann. Sources include: The Washington Post, November 27, 1977.

Deteriorata

Go placidly amid the noise and waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself and heed well their advice; even though they may be turkeys. Know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Whenever possible put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a fortune in computer maintenance.

Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate. Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. . Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those closest to you; that lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. Forcefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks. For a good time call 808-4311; ask for ken. Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese; and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. And whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore, make peace with our god, whatever you conceive him to be: hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continuers to deteriorate. Give Up!