Advice to My Grandchildren

This posting is a diversion from the usual humorous items, but it still applies for the development of a general philosophy of life, and I wanted to share it with the readers of this blog. I’ve often been told that an old man’s advice is sometimes exactly what it costs—nothing, and there’s always some risk in even setting guidelines for growing children, who must, after all, make their own way in life. So don’t think of the following statements as iron-clad rules based on the presumptions of a man who has answers, rather I think of them as a collection of thoughts that are important for developing minds to ponder as they struggle to mix into an increasingly complicated society.


These are the thoughts that I have already shared with my grandchildren, and I hope that they will read them again and draw their own conclusions about how to apply them. For above all, I believe a person must grow and develop as an individual who is to work and live with a collection of other individuals. The key word, in my opinion is the word “individual.” As Shakespeare wrote years ago, “to thine own self be true.” As always your comments are welcome.

ADVICE TO MY GRANDCHILDREN

1. Don’t be afraid to fail while going after something you really, really want. You will always learn from it. NEVER GIVE UP. Persistence will overcome everything else. I guarantee it.

2. If you listen more than you talk, you will not only learn more, but people will think you’re smarter, not dumber, than you really are.

3. Take schooling seriously and accept personal responsibility.
• Ability is what you are capable of doing.
• Motivation determines what you do.
• Attitude determines how well you do it.

4. Think often about what you’d like to do when you grow up. What are your interests? Who are the people you admire, and why? Talk to these people about what they do.

5. Don’t forget to plan and develop your social skills along the way. Success is often more related to working with and getting along with others than it is with educational matters. So “play” often and work with groups as much as possible.

6. Constantly work on developing a GOOD ATTITUDE about your schooling. Be cheerful. Smile a lot. Don’t let others discourage you. If you feel overworked, stressed out, unappreciated, or even very sad about anything, then TALK ABOUT IT or WRITE ABOUT IT. Self-expression relieves pressure and also allows one to grow.

7. When someone asks you to do something, decide quickly whether you will do it or not and say so. Either way, it makes no sense and it looks bad to hesitate, agonize, or give excuses. Accept or reject the request honestly and you will gain the respect of others.

8. Whatever your goal may be, remember that it’s not difficult to achieve the confidence and respect of others. Recognize that the majority of people today are not willing to put fourth their full efforts in any task, and that hard work on your part will be noticed and rewarded.

9. Learn to be a “good winner.” When you are successful or when you best the competition, always praise the efforts of others and be modest about your own accomplishments.

10. Learn to be a “good loser.” Congratulate those who win, and never offer excuses or blame others for your failure. Don’t be a “whiner.” Learn from experience.

11. All actions have consequences. Accept personal responsibility for all of your actions and for the consequences.

12. Learn to control your negative emotions. When you are very angry with someone, don’t complicate the issue with your own anger. Words spoken in anger can never be taken back. Listen, think, and respond when you can do so rationally and logically. Writing down your thoughts is helpful.

13. Love is a limitless commodity. When you give love to someone or when love is given to you, it does not diminish the love for another. Read my story entitled: “The Wizard.”

14. A person’s name is very important to them. Make a practice of remembering names and use them frequently.

15. When a friend shows you something they have made, a job they have completed, or a work of art, show your enthusiasm and find something good to say about it.

16. When you receive a gift from someone, it means that they love you and that they have spent time thinking about just you. Your immediate gift back to them should reflect love and appreciation. The “gift” simply does not matter.

17. Use frequently but sincerely the words “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” and “I love you.”


18. Being on time will be noted and will impress people. Being late is a rude thing to do. It says to other people, “My time is more important than your time.” A person who is always late is a selfish person. Mark it down.

19. Being mentally tough will help you more in life than being physically tough. They don’t always go together.

20. Notice and appreciate what makes your heart leap up. Maybe it’s a song or a poem or a movie or an event or location. Maybe it’s seeing, hearing, or reading something special. If nothing does this for you, examine your life because something is missing.

21. There are some very bad people in this world. For these few people, no amount of reasoning, education, or rehabilitation will change them significantly. Do not let them abuse you or stand in your way. Get help if necessary.

22. When something bad happens, it's wonderful to have family and/or friends around. Try not to go anywhere by yourself.

23. Motives, intentions, feelings, and the reasons behind our actions are sometimes more important than the actions themselves.

24. Violence usually, but not always, solves nothing. If there is no immediate danger, try to defuse a bad situation and wait until later to attempt resolution of the problem.

25. The most important skill you can develop is the ability to communicate in speaking and writing. No other skill comes close to these in determining your future development.

26. Regardless of your career interests, you should develop (early in life) solid skills in science and mathematics. Your early choices of coursework are critical to avoid compromising your future choices.

27. From time to time, make yourself do something you don’t really want to do. It will make you stronger.

28. Family and home are very, very important. Honor them. One should know where one comes from and who worked or sacrificed to get us where we are. Having a sense of family and having a sense of place is going to be increasingly hard to have in this modern world, but you can have it, and it will bring you comfort and stability.

29. Keep a good sense of humor and laugh at yourself more than you do at others.

READ – WRITE – IMAGINE – LISTEN – PERSIST