Writing and Humor

A collection of bits and pieces that should be of interest to writers, teahcers and parents. Emphasis is on humor, but there are also items involving family and general philosopy. Comments are welcome from anyone.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Tribute to a Dog


Senator Vest, of Missouri, was attending court in a country town, and while waiting for the trial of a case in which he was interested, he was urged by the attorneys in a dog case to help him. He was paid a fee of $250 by the plaintiff. Voluminous evidence was introduced to show that the defendant had shot the dog in malice, while the other evidence went to show that the dog had attacked the defendant. Vest took no part in the trial and was not disposed to speak. The attorneys, however, urged him to make a speech, else their client would not think he had earned his fee. Being thus urged, he arose, scanned the face of each juror for a moment, and gave the following speech:

A TRIBUTE TO A DOG

“Gentlemen of the Jury: The best friend a man has in the world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter that he has reared with loving care may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name may become traitors to their faith. The money a man has he may lose. It flies away from him, perhaps, when the needs it most. A man’s reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees to do us honor when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its clouds upon our heads. The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in the selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. A man’s dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground, where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he may be near his master’s side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer; he will lick the wounds and sores that some encounter with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master, as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert he remains, when riches take wings and reputation falls to pieces, he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens.

If fortune drives the master forth an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him, to guard against danger, to fight against his enemies, and when the last scene of all come, and death takes the master in its embrace, and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other fiend pursue their way, there by the graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad, but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true even in death.”

Senator Vest sat down. He had spoken in a low voice, without any gesture. He made no reference to the evidence of the merits of the case. When he finished, judge and jury were wiping their eyes. The jury returned a verdict in favor of the plaintiff for $500. He had sued for only $200.

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